Spiritual Regression (How Did I Get Here)

Spiritual Regression (How Did I Get Here)

The continuation of 

(Pressing Through The Concrete Walls In The Pits of Society) 

Part lll

This is the Third part of my memoir of How the Lord brought me out of a dead situation too numb to breathe as He brings me into His Marvelous light. Later I find myself regressing back to what I thought I was deliver from. Coming to the realization that Deliverance comes in layers of suffering in order for God to remove that which held you captive for years. When  you come to the end of self then The Lord can step in cutting away the dead to renew you for His purpose.

Hello Saints of God we really need to know that vulnerability opens up two areas in your life one for God to strengthen you. If you do not reach for The Lord, then this opens up a door way for Satan to have a heyday in your life. I was in a unexpected vulnerable state of mind after my daughter has gone off to college. My youngest just pull a deceptive scheme that left me in vulnerable state of mind with a empty nest. Here I go again, after five years of abstaining from fornication in 2002 I got involved with the manager of the store I was employed as a security guard. I started as a friendship for a while that lead to me breaking my commitment to The Lord.

This was a short involvement, but it opens up a door for demonic control in my life that locked me into regressing back to old behaviors that I have not been fully delivered from but thought I was. I got involve with a person who did not believe in God. A test I fail greatly, which lead to another involvement with another manager at another store I was transferred to by my request so I can move on. I became friends with this person while I still had fresh wounds from the short-term relationship.

I began to feel the emptiness of wanting human companionship, and genuine love which I never really had. This was a platonic relationship for a while that had the potential to move further, and it eventually did. After a eight months of friendship I gave into the desires of the flesh, so when I went down, I fell hard not noticing that I became so wrapped up in my flesh nature. I started to justifying my actions and my relationship with this person as true love. Only because he has never put his hands on me brutally, for all of my relationship ended in physical abuse or mental abuse, sometimes both. To me he was a complete gentleman so that’s what I told myself. Comparing him to the thuds I have dated in the hood.

To not realize this is another type of imprisonment built through my wants of companionship, going through a Revolving Door another cycle repeating itself while developing more weakness along with the vulnerability that I refuse to acknowledge. He seem not to be a deceiver when in fact we both have become deceiver’s.  How many of us have come to recognize that Satan will never tempt you with something that you don’t like.  Whatever caters to your fleshly desire is just where you will be tempted. That’s why your desire should be of The Lord. Pray for this desire early in your walk with The Lord, so that you will be able to resist the snare, and entrapment's Satan sets up for you in your weakest moments that will have you going through cycles.

Satan will dress up deception, and selfishness with politeness so that it caters to what you perceived as being right.  It seduces, and entice you to agree that it is okay. Only The Lord can bring you to that knowledge through the experience of failure. The Lord sometimes allows us to induce what we think we desperately desire in order to show us what we really are Desperately Seeking is Him. That void of true love. Only Jesus can fill that void. That incompleteness becomes obvious when we come to realize we have been chasing our own tails for years, and only when we run into the back of it we come to acknowledge that the stench is foul, and not a pleasant one.

God allows us to smell ourselves in order to get that wake up call. God allows us to indulge in selfishness reaping the rewards of it, so we can come to the end of ourselves realizing after we continued in sin, we find ourselves still incomplete and empty, with the repercussion of our actions. Oh!  By the way the forbidden relationship I was in, was with a married man. I fell for his prevarications, and lied to myself in order to justified what was wrong, and hold on to what I thought was non-abusive. Not accepting the deception was not only from him, but I also was only deceiving myself for three years, and doing a good job at it, of course this ended in an emotional and mental disaster for me.

Lord knows what mental afflictions He and I placed upon his family as well as ourselves because of selfishness without going into details just know that this happen years after I had received The Holy Spirit and accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. How did I arrive so far off track repeating and indulging in what I thought I was delivered from. When we saturate ourselves in sin, we tend to convince ourselves there is nothing wrong because we reckon we are in love, or in love with being in love which is really lust so we tell ourselves that lie until we come to believe it. Even though in our hearts where the truth remains is unstable the conflict between Spirit and Flesh. A double minded person is unstable. Out of fear of lost you stay in that prison not understanding you are clueless to what love is.

Only in an intimate relationship with God will you come to know what real love is.  Love is not selfish and self-serving. You have heard the old saying that love is blind, well this has no truth to it. For God is Love, and He see all of the depravity of humanity and our wretched hearts. For this reason John 3:16: God so love The world He gave His only begotten Son That who soever believe in Him shall not perish but receive Eternal life. He sees all your hurt, as well as your unrighteousness, for our righteous is as filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6). He offers you to step into His door so that His righteous can cover you, and blot out your transgression.  So it is not love that blinds you. You are not in love that is something you say to yourself, or to the one that your  involved with justified your wants, because you are truly in Lust. It is Lust that blinds you.

EYE CANDY

i

Some of us named it Eye Candy, that’s because it pleases the eyes to look upon. like a Tootsie Roll Pop filled with a bitter center. When you unwrap that candy, the flavor is delicious until you get to the center then finding the taste is bitter and not what you anticipated. It really does not take that long to get to the bitter center. More than less of us stay in denial adjusting to the bitterness like the first drink of alcohol it do not taste good, but you adjust yourself until you’re under the influence. Now it is no longer about the taste it’s about the temporary feeling you get that soon will fade.  For those who continue in this pattern it becomes an cycle of addiction you easily gravitate to, an intoxication, so detoxifying is the only answer.

But until you are Spiritually detox by The Holy Spirit that comes by accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior of your life (Key) - Finally admitting that you are no longer in control so get out of God’s way, and wait on him to fill that emptiness that opens up vulnerability. The trigger of my vulnerability I overlook was my anger towards my daughter. After my youngest daughter’s maneuver  when she returned home pregnant, and manipulated me to help her evade being institutionalize. I was missing her in spite of the things she has already put me through. There is a certain bond a mother has to her child that even extreme behavior problems can’t erase and out of love I did so.

So she moves back in with me not knowing she was using me as a way to get place in independent living so she could escape the consequences of her absconding, from the group home. I went before the judge to prevent her from having her child born in a detention center.  I felt that her pregnancy would bind us as we raise her child together but, somehow her maneuver left me vulnerable along with my oldest daughter transition to College. An empty nest open up a certain vulnerability I was not ready for. I grab on to other relationships not acknowledging I was opening a gap giving Satan an entrance and a stronghold in my life at that time. It is the part of wanting, and attempting to control everything around you so you won’t get hurt that leads you to losing control and becoming unstable, not realizing that giving The Lord fully control of your life is what brings balance.

We become unstable through the self-gratifications of our sin nature that we're wrapped in at birth, for we are born in sin and shaped in iniquity. Our flesh nature war against the Spirit. The Advisory Satan uses our fleshly desires to lure us on a path of destruction. One important fact I discovered was that losing control of my life open the opportunity for me to place my life in the hands of the one who knows us inwardly and outwardly, for we were fearfully, and wonderfully created by Him.  It’s is when we have taken control of our lives out of The Hands of our God that leaves us under the control of the merciless adversary whose agenda and occupation is to steal, kill, and destroy all humanity.

God has created man and then woman together as one in the fashion that He created. The Lord said, it is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a help mate. The Lord gathers every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air and brought them to Adam to see what he will call them and whatever Adam named them, that’s what they were.  Gen. (2:20) There was not found a help meet for Adam, some may say help mate, simply according to (KJV) it states Help Meet which implies someone to help meet the needs of the man. The Lord put Adam to sleep and removed one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh.

This is the first surgical procedure performed and documented by God, and was used to create the Woman. For it is written the rib, which The Lord Thy God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her to the man. God said - Gen (2:24) Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh.  God has made man and woman to become as one flesh. God is putting back in place what he took out of man, which is his rib God formed woman from. He gave Adam his rib back in the frame of a woman through the marriage covenant. Now Adam's whole again so they become as one. Adam quotes bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh.

For whoever humanity cleaves to they become as one. This is natural because woman came out of man. It is natural when a man becomes drawn to what came from him. This is place back in order when he cleaves to his wife. Anything outside the marriage covenant is a breach of what God has intended for humanity.  Sex outside of the covenant God ordain is the sin of Sexual Immorality. That’s why fornication, and adultery, which both means sex outside of the marriage commitment between man and woman, is a breach of the covenant. Any physical intimacy of the flesh outside of the marriage commitment between man, and woman is a breach of the covenant. When humanity takes the order of God out of the content that it was purpose, it then leaves humanity incomplete.

The same God who made man in His image which is of spirit, for God is Spirit this naturally connects mankind as children of God.  But mankind rebel against God and attached himself to what is unholy through the spirit of disobedience, a rebellious spirit, for rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft - 1 Samuel (15:23). This spirit lead humanity to separate themselves from God, for God is Holy and cannot be attached to what is unholy.  Man becomes no longer attached to God who they are apart of so they are now incomplete for the spiritual part that connected them as a children of God is no longer there, and needs to be reconnected for mankind to be completed.

Physical Intimacy between man and woman was fashion for the marriage covenant, so if you cleave to anyone intimately physically that is not your wife or husband you become as one be it man, female, or beast. Yes, I said beast. Some of us from the old days got word that when men were in prison some were place on farms to work, because of lack of female companionship they resulted to other options for their sexual appetites. Some with other men, while others with the sheep on the farm, or self pleasuring, you know what I mean. So when your man comes home from prison with strange behaviors, and sounds that resembles sheep bleeping, (Baa, Baa, Baa).

In Cult religions you will find this practice also. When you commit adultery or fornication with someone else you have cleaved unto this individual, that person’s spirit has become a part of you. So everyone you have slept with intimately is a part of you. Whoever that someone slept with that spirit has attached itself to you also, so anything that is not of God is Anti God, which is Antichrist which is of a demonic force that enhance the spirit of Lust in that person. Continual practice of a harlot embodies other spirits so that  the mindset of a person becomes unstable, and under the influence of spirits that are not of God.

So only through spiritual detox through The Holy Spirit is deliverance, and that can only come through giving yourself over to The Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. You have to divorce yourself from all those spirits that you have attach yourself to. Any sexual pleasure outside of this even Homosexual, Bisexual, Masturbation, Incest, Porn, Self-pleasuring one’s body physically in ways of provoking sexual pleasure with yourself is out of order, and is sexual abuse for you sin against your own body which is the temple of God. When we are not line up with God’s will we are out of alignment.

The Breath of God Is The Intimate Encounter of God With Humanity

Which Made Man Become A Living Soul

God ordained marriage as an order in which God call between man and woman for it symbolize His Spiritual Intimate Relationship with humanity by The Implantation of Holy Spirit that indwelled Adam before Sin, and now indwells those who are in Christ Jesus (Gen 2:18) The Word of God states in 1 Corinthians (6:15)- Know ye not that your bodies are The Members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them the members of a harlot? (Or Play the Harlot) God forbid. What? Know ye not that he which is joined to a harlot  is one body? For two, saith he, shall be one flesh. But he that is joined unto the Lord is one in spirit. Flee fornication. Every sin that a man do is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

What? Know you not that your Body is The temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which you have of God, and are not your own? For you are bought with a price: Therefore Glorify God in your body, and in your Spirit, which are God’s.  (Double Mindedness) the Word of God state that a double minded person is unstable and my life was unstable. Because my flesh was in conflict with The Holy Spirit that dwell within me because I started living a lie.

When we regress back to our old sin's repeating the 

offense which kept us going in cycles that only 

drags us back into the Pit. Help us Lord for 

It's is you Lord I sin against in these pits 

of  society. The Entrapment of the 

Enemy is   every   where I turn, 

Save    Me  Lord   from myself 

for even after you show me 

my completeness  is in 

you, I drop  the ball 

in

my vulnerability. How did I easily forget how you 

pull me out of myself, and brought me into you. Lord 

Jesus Forgive all of my transgression. Put a new heart 

and a right Spirit in me for without you I'm nothing.

The Cup of Repentance

Desperate

In The Sincerity of The Holy Spirit

Sister Seer Trudy